Pregnant jokes
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.