I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.
Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.
