Pregnant jokes
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.