Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we’ve all kicked a pregnant woman before we where even born.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave ? Buy 1 get 1 free 😂😂😂😂
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
my dog is pregnant i’m a be a ... i don’t know?
oohh a owner
