Pregnant

Pregnant Jokes

Whopper

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.

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  • Barbie

    Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

    Law

    The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

    Pregnancy

    Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"

    Scientist

    Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

    Father Figure

    My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

    Pregnancy

    Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."

    Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."

    Wife: "No, you're not."

    Fetus

    What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

    They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

    Vasectomy

    I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

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  • Pregnancy

    A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

    My name, my address, and my phone number.

    Population

    My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

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  • Nun

    How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.

    Abortion

    What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?

    They both say, β€œMy mom's gonna kill me!”

    Slave

    Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Woman

    A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

    After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: β€œWell, I hope you like changing diapers!”

    She replies: β€œOh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

    To which he responds: β€œNo, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

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