Predator jokes
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek?
No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?