Predator jokes

Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.

What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?

Predator.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

When is a rapist safe around children?

When his plans are oven ready.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.

Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.

If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?

Who is always looking spot on?

The cheetahs.