What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
What food does cheetahs eat?
Cheetos!
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
I'm a cheetah, I cheat, duh?
