I'm a cheetah, I cheet duh?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
why do cheetahs never get an A+on a test-they always cheetah
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What did the snake say to the mouse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
Child predators: "You're so six-y."
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
