Animal behavior jokes
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Donkeys are cool.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Community talk
The difference between dogs and humans is that dogs are grateful, while humans often are not. It is a rare trait to find in many humans. Hence quite comical when humans are called the most intelligent species, yet they are often the ones who harm/banish/ruin others of their own kind. In the end, humans can be considered the most intellectually limited and dumbest species on this planet, unless some of them develop true humane qualities. Isn't it ironic?
Have a nice weekend, everyone.
Uh hi. Ducks are known for committing acts of gay necrophilia Have a good day
so my dog decided to make her fucking grand escape for the 4th time I think it was. like the motherfucker zoomed out of the house. shes back tho and it was kinda funny