Animal behavior jokes
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Donkeys are cool.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Like if your best friend has a dog.
Community talk
so my dog decided to make her fucking grand escape for the 4th time I think it was. like the motherfucker zoomed out of the house. shes back tho and it was kinda funny
yall i js got home from church and i was gone for a few hours and the dog got so excited to see me that she peed a little 😭😭😭
i was sleeping, and my damn dog was sitting by my door just barking.