I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
