Porn jokes
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.
I like penis in my bum!
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?
Two test tickles.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.
Oil and Ass.
Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 2.
Bubble Butt Bonanza 2.
Big Bubble-Butt Cheerleaders 2.
Big Wet Butts 5.
There Will Be Cum 9.
Mandingo Rocks That Ass.
Big Butts Like It Big 2.
Blowjob Ninjas 5.
Keep It Right There 2.
Big Wet Brazilian Asses! 6
"Dababy midget porn."
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.