What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's F-king cooking show!
Husband: "Stop watching that f-king sh*t! You can't cook to save your life!"
Wife: "So what?! You watch porn, don't you?!"
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
Porn *sex noises*
Let me tell you a story.
There once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes.
He didn't want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes.
He lived in a dorm, and all day he watched porn, but still he would suck on some corn.
One day he would go to choke on some tasty chode, but his bros found out, gave him a shout, and kicked him out yelling that he broke the bro code.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
your mom
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
