Porn jokes
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
What's Link's favorite porn video? The Legend of Zeldas Sucking.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
A funny joke is not funny after laughing because then it becomes a porn hub.
What do you call your mom?
My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.