Porn jokes
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
What's Link's favorite porn video? The Legend of Zeldas Sucking.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
A funny joke is not funny after laughing because then it becomes a porn hub.
What do you call your mom?
My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%