Politics jokes
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Russia.
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi/Nattzee.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.