Police jokes
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...