Police jokes

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

More cops died from COVID than anything else last year, hahahaha.

They should have shot COVID instead of Tyrone on the microphone, lmfao.

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Police.

Police who?

Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"

To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."

Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."

The police said "How old are you?"

Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

What do you call a policeman/farmer?

A farmer in blue!

Wanna hear a joke?

Police brutality.

What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?

Dumb right wingers.

A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.

And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.

And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.

Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.

Did you hear about the bank robber?

Turns out he got shot by the police.

And he wound up in prison.