Police jokes
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.
Haway Five O.
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.