Police jokes
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.
Haway Five O.
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
I'm Black, when a cop sees me, he shoots.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.