Plant jokes
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.