Plant jokes
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.
Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
As a man can confirm
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?
The flowers actually get picked.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Spring is here, I got so excited, I wet my plants!
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
Grass for lash.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.