Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Plant Jokes
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Balloon 1: Watch out for cactus!
Balloon 2: Where is cactussssssss?
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.