Plant jokes
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Balloon 1: Watch out for cactus!
Balloon 2: Where is cactussssssss?
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."