Plant jokes
Grass for lash.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
And walk, walk home, and...
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.