Plant jokes
You pecan do it!
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Petal
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
And walk, walk home, and...
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.