Plant jokes
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
As a man can confirm
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.
Why did the big rose say to the little rose?
"Hi, bud."
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.