Plant jokes
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
What is a room you can not enter? A mushroom.
A song about yellow and blue beans.
Engines shut off when accelerating, Babu is wearing a hat and gloves. Rain is like honey. Bob remembered the sentence as best he could. Latex Master has reached the ninth level. These are weapons of atheism in the narrow sense.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Little Roach, look, Bob, of course!
Glory comes and loss is great. Three types of copper filling. The stairs are covered with lego pieces, Take a closer look at the snowman, a type of flowering plant. There is no science that saves time from fog. "The war against slavery!" - The Complete Guide to Bob Fuller.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Hang a laminate. Bob, that's right!
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Grass for lash.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.