Pissing jokes

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

😫 😂 😑 🤔 😳 😬 😑 🙄

🥴 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺

🍸🍸 🍸🍸 🍸🍸 🍸 🍸 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴 🥴

🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴

Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜

Why did the condom cross the road?

Because he was pissed off.

I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.

How do you piss off a disabled person?

You put the cookie on the other shoulder.

Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.

It is now known as Optimus Prime.

What do you call a pissed off midget?

A micro-aggression.

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?

A very pissed duck.

Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.

What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.

Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.