Pissing jokes
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"