Pirate jokes
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
Why is the rum gone?
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.