Jack Sparrow jokes

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

Why is the rum gone?

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."

One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.

"Jack Sparrow."

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."

- Captain Jack Sparrow

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate says:

"Argh, It's driving me nuts."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.