Phone jokes
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Why can’t orphans use a phone? Because they can't find the home button.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.