Personal jokes
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Memes
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”