Personal jokes
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
I feel this one on a personal level.
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.