Person jokes

Chess

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How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

Mood

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Car

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Sex

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?