Person jokes
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What do Jews and Black people have in common?
Living off welfare checks.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
Putin is the only person whose country is bigger than his mind.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."