Person jokes

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

Insult

If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!

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  • Roast

    I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

    If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

    Liberal

    The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

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  • A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

    But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

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  • Asian

    I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

    I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

    I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

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  • Roast

    You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

    Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

    Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

    A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

    Roast

    I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

    Blind

    How does a blind person wipe their ass?

    With braille toilet paper.

    Blind

    How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?