Person jokes

Ocd

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

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  • Depression

    What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

    Murder

    They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

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  • School shooting

    An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

    Memes

    Psycho

    I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

    Birthday

    People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.

    Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."

    Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."

    Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."

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  • Message

    What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

    You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

    Suicidal person

    What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

    "If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

    Suicide

    What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

    Depresso espresso.

    Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

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  • Pacman

    The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

    Noose

    Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

    The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

    He grabs a noose.

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