Person jokes

Ocd

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

Depression

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Murder

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

School shooting

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

Memes

Birthday

People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.

Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."

Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."

Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."

Psycho

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Message

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Suicidal person

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

Suicide

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

Pacman

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Noose

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.