Person jokes

Hey Qwen, it's me.

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

Looks like he never charged up fully.

An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."

Are you getting the funnies?

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

Police: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH?

Police: Ends call.

Me: Calls hospital.

Hospital: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

Hospital: Hangs up.

Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

Fire: No fire.

Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?

A. System of a Down's syndrome.

What do you call a deaf person?

Whatever you want!

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Me: Good night, everyone.

My friends and family: Night.

Me: *gets in coffin*

My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?

My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.

How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.