Person jokes

"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

Khalil Abubakar

What does Stephen Hawking eat?

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

Ali A's face.

When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."

You're tiny!

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

Is anyone going to Sawcon?

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

Symptoms of Schizophrenia

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.