Perception jokes

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

What makes you guys high?

I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

You're gay if you see this.

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!

Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.