Perception jokes
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!