Perception jokes

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Skinny deformed creature in the distance.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.