Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
