Perception jokes
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.