Perception jokes
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
I am glass! People see right through me.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
You're as useless as Stevie Wonder's eyes!
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.