Perception jokes

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Skinny deformed creature in the distance.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.