Perception

Perception jokes

Husband

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Woman

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Mirror

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

Mama

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Gender

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

  • 3
  • Color

    If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

    Dad

    Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

    Joseph: No, they don't.

    Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

    Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

    Momma

    Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

    Heart

    The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

    The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

    Lightbulb

    How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

    Chicken

    *WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

    What came first? The chicken or the egg?

    Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

    Who taught the first ever teacher?

    If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

    If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

    In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

    Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

    How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

    The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

    Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

    Is it possible to cry underwater?

    If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

    I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O