Perception jokes

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Skinny deformed creature in the distance.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.