Perception jokes

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O