Perception jokes
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. ππππππππππππLol
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadnβt seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman Iβd become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
βYes, itβs such a shame that sheβs gone blind,β she said sadly.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Can you see me?
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.