People jokes
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"