I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
People Jokes
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
Midget
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
