People jokes
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
Memes
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...