What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
People Jokes
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
Why donāt cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids donāt like vegetables.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
