People jokes

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.

What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

Sup peoples?

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

People: Stop invading Ukraine!

Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀

British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

Who says white people can't jump?

Have you seen the 911 footage?

Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.

What games would deaf people not be good at?

Simon says and Musical chairs.

My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

My mom said, "I took your advice."