People jokes

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

Fat people are the reason we have double doors.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.