People jokes

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

Very little.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!