People jokes

My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

My mom said, "I took your advice."

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?

A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.

What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.

How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?

Everyone's eaten.

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.