People jokes

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

Who says white people can't jump?

Have you seen the 911 footage?

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

My mom said, "I took your advice."

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

Why are obese jokes so offensive?

Because fat people have enough on their plate.

Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.

What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!

How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?

Everyone's eaten.

I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."