People jokes
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So Black people can be messy too.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.