People jokes
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?