People jokes
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?
They're the ones that make the toys.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
Like it if you judge people's hairlines.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.