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Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? πŸ€”

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?

"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"

"I have a three-head."

"I have a four-head."

Bald people have a seven-head.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

Do depressed people hate swimming?

They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.

What sounds did the Ukraine people make in basketball? Ka-boom!