Pedophile jokes
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.