Pedophile

Pedophile jokes

Girl

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Machine

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

Priest

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

Child

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

File

What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?

A pedophile.

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  • Priest

    A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.

    He orders a beer.

    Job

    What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

    A physical doctor for kids.

    Pedo

    Two pedos are on the beach.

    One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

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  • Guy

    A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

    Difference

    What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

    Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

    Epstein

    Trump's releasing the files.

    To catch all the pedophiles.

    He didn't know Epstein.

    Didn't touch any teens.

    Crime

    Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

    Race

    Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

    A: Because they like to come in a little behind.

    Law

    How do pedophiles follow the law?

    They drive it slow in the school zone.

    R. Kelly

    Michael Jackson

    Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?

    R. Kelly.

    Cheek

    Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.

    Stop

    When do you go at stop and stop when done?

    I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

    School

    Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.