Pedophile jokes
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.