What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
Jimmylikeskids4
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Mosely in a white van.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
