Pedophile jokes
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.