Pedophile

Pedophile jokes

Anniversary

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

School

What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.

Girl

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

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  • Machine

    What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

    My big green pedo machine.

    Priest

    A pedophile and a priest run a race.

    You can’t beat yourself in a race!

    Coffee

    Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.

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  • Child

    What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

    Turn on the child safety lock on the car.

    Police Officer

    Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

    A. A police officer.

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  • File

    What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?

    A pedophile.

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  • Job

    What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

    A physical doctor for kids.

    Priest

    A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.

    He orders a beer.

    Pedo

    Two pedos are on the beach.

    One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

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  • Guy

    A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

    Trash

    Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

    Difference

    What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

    Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

    Epstein

    Trump's releasing the files.

    To catch all the pedophiles.

    He didn't know Epstein.

    Didn't touch any teens.

    Race

    Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

    A: Because they like to come in a little behind.