Pedophile jokes
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
The + in LGBTQ+ stands for pedophiles.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Mosely in a white van.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
Kill yourself!
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Tyler
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.