Party jokes

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?

You call, I'm putting on.

Frank (34) DJ.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

Why did the guy's birthday party stink?

Because he was turning farty!

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?

Be there or B2.

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...

How do you organize a space themed birthday party?

You planet.

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses

The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

Because it is politically motivated.

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.