Party jokes

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

I invited my friend with a vasectomy to a party.

Unfortunately, he couldn't come.

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

Hey guys, it's cake time!

A man with a mullet walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"

Why did the mushroom go to the party??

Because he was a fungi!

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.

Everyone at the barbecue...

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

What is a cow's favorite party game?

Moo-sical chairs!

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

2: I'm dying, finally.

3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/