Party

Party jokes

Party memes

Parent

    • My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

    Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

    Butt

    • There was a woman sitting with me.

    I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

    I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

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    • Girl

    • I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

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    • Drink

    • Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

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    • German

    • When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"

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    • Drink

    • A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

    The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

    The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

    The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

    She says, "Vinegar and water."

  • 1

    • Cancer

    • 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

    2: I'm dying, finally.

    3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

    On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

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    • Millionaire

    • A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

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