Party jokes
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.
When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH!
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."