Parent jokes
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.