Parent jokes
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?