Parent jokes
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.