Parent jokes
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don't know what a full house is.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
me when my mom wakes me up!
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.