Parent jokes

Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

Why don't orphans like getting lost?

Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"

Orphans get family-sized chips for free.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."