Parent jokes

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

Why did the child die? To see God, our father.

Me: I just shot an orphan.

Mate: You can’t do that!

Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

The orphans all died!!!

Oh wait, no one cares...

Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.

What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.

Why do orphans hate smart kids?

Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.

Oh, brother!

What do you call your mom? Gay.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

Like this joke. Ur mom.

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

The "P" in Batman stands for parents.

If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

Whoever is an orphan and wants these to go, or if you just want them to go away, comment down below, or if you can't comment, give it a thumbs up!