Parent jokes
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can get wanted.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.