Parent jokes
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do orphans want parents? Because they don't want to be left out.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.