Parent jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
My bumper sticker says: "👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD."
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.