Parent jokes
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Why do orphans hate going in public?
Because there's kids out with their parents.
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.