Overeating jokes

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

What's green then red all over?

A frog in a blender! :)

Why did the bike fall over?

It was too tired.

Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .