Overeating jokes

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

What's green then red all over?

A frog in a blender! :)

Why did the bike fall over?

It was too tired.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.