Overeating jokes
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .