Overeating jokes
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
Memes
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.