Overeating jokes

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

What's white but not black, and red all over?

J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.

It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!

I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.

He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.

What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

What's black and grey and red all over?

A dead r******.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Why did the cow knock over Johnny?

Because the cow felt like to dumb.

How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.

I had something about tripping over ice.

Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.