Overeating jokes
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*