Overeating jokes
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?