Overeating jokes

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

Bros over hos.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!

What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?

Goddammit, Jamal!

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

Why did the cow knock over Johnny?

Because the cow felt like to dumb.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."