Overeating jokes

The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?

'Cause he had a screw loose!

What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?

A UFO.

- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

What has 2 legs and is red all over?

Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

Class: no one stands up.

Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

Little Johnny: *stands up*

Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"

These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.

It was 9/11 all over again.

The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.