Overeating jokes

What did the cow jump over?

The Moon.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."

"Oh no, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Oh, I won't!"

"Oh yes, you will!"

"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."

What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.

Why is the sun red today?

The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.

How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?

Flip it over!

Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?

It was ran over. 🐧

The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.

Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?

'Cause he had a screw loose!

What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?

A UFO.

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.

- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.